Forget It, I’m Boycotting Valentines Day!

Image Credit: The Big Quack via flickr.com

I was recently on a forum where the question of ‘what are you doing for Valentines Day this year’ was posed. ‘Nuthin.’ I responded. Simple. Short. To the point. I wasn’t expecting the response. “Oh wow. I’m so sorry!”, she said. Great, Now I’m getting pity for not celebrating a holiday? Why was pity the automatic go to response? I had been wavering on how I felt about the big V-day this year, but that sort of put the last nail in the coffin for me. I don’t want to celebrate Valentines Day this year! Does that surprise you?

I know that the automatic suspicion is that I’m probably bitter. Maybe I am! I suppose that if every February 14th had been crushed full of awesomeness and love and goodies that I may indeed fill differently. However, I’m human, the people I have loved are human, and that means that sometimes any holiday I celebrate has on occasion been a tad lacklustre. I’m just tired of the negativity that comes along with it!

I’m tired of the pressure. The expectation that on this day of all days, the one who is sweet on you must somehow express their feelings. Somehow… that doesn’t seem very genuine to me. It also doesn’t seem that fair to put that expectation on another. You must express your love. Now! I dunno. I also am tired of the fact that this social expectation can unfairly lead to feelings of disappointment. Even if you know your partner loves you, even if you know that they have very valid reasons for not showering you in love, it’s a little…. sucktastic… to see all the love and be visually love exempt. That may be the bitter part- but there’s more to it! I don’t want to feel crappy because someone ages ago made some random decision about the day.

Plus, and perhaps it’s just me- it bothers me how commercial the thing is. I can’t help but feel that maybe half the pressure we feel on this holiday is all the not so subtle reminders we have from manufacturers and stores telling us how important it is. I know that the ads and all the merchandise started hitting stores right after New Years (if not slightly before). It’s not that I don’t like physical stuff (I’m really not that anti-materialism), because I do! I don’t like people telling me that I *have* to buy something to express my feelings. It takes almost no thought or effort to pick up a card and flowers this time of year. So, is that really an expression of love, or is it one of conformity? Maybe I would appreciate Valentines Day more if all I saw were thoughtful expressions of love instead of lots of money exchanging hands in the name of it.

Finally, there is so much judgement that is entailed. No one needs to think less of my partner, or me, or anyone, for not gifting someone something on that day. Not celebrating, participating, or doing something special doesn’t mean that they are loveless. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care, or are a horrible person. And for the love of gawd- there is no bad gift on this day. If the thought and love was behind it, one dandelion picked off the side-walk is as amazing and wonderful as a dozen red roses, a box of chocolates, and a stunning diamond necklace combined. Even if the person was a millionaire.

I understand the love and joy that others get out of it, but I have to excuse myself of the burden and stress and simply say ‘this day is no longer for me’. I will continue expressing my love whenever I feel it, however I feel it. I welcome the expression from others whenever they feel it, however they feel it, whenever they feel it- even if it falls on Valentines Day. I’m saying “No” to the forced expectations, and still saying “Yes” to love.

What’s your stance on Valentines Day? Happily celebrating or doing something else?

 

Image Credit: The Big Quack via flickr.com

4 Responses to Forget It, I’m Boycotting Valentines Day!

  1. Jenn says:

    Oh my gosh I completely agree. I have never had a bad valentine’s day. My favorite part when I was younger was getting surprised with a box of chocolates and a new stuffed animal from my mom when I got home from school. As I got older I got taken put on fun dates. Never a bad day. I just don’t believe in how commercial it is or how every single girl seems to run for a box of chocolate, tissues and a chick flick marathon that day. No one deserves to feel bad just because the calendar says so. I am married now and refuse to celebrate it. I get the pity too and it’s so annoying. Thank you for addressing this!

    • OneDayOfPeace says:

      My pleasure! I hadn’t even thought about T.V. being overrun with chick flicks that day, but it’s highly likely! Maybe I’ll actually turn off the t.v. for a bit! HA!

  2. Maeve says:

    I agree. While I’ve never had a *bad* Valentine’s Day, I hardly see the point in “celebrating” it with all the commercial trappings that seem to be attached to it. For the last two years, when we’ve sent Valentines to school for my kids, the three of us have say down together and made them instead of buying them. It just seems more GENUINE that way, you know? I don’t go over-the-top with decorations, etc., in fact for years the decorations we had (cuz for years I decorated for *every* holiday) were ones that we, the kids and I, had made and were lovingly put up and taken down every year. That is, until my husband saw a box while we were moving, one he mistakenly though full of “paper scraps”, and tossed it out during one of our moves. >.< I might do something sweet to surprise my kids, but I don't need a specific holiday on which to do so. If I'm going to surprise them, I'll do it every day, not just on certain ones that society has deemed acceptable. And likely this year we'll be moving around then and won't be able to do anything anyway! :)

    • OneDayOfPeace says:

      I love the personal touches you have added to the occasion! That’s what makes it worth doing, in my opinion! Sorry that all your stuff got tossed. Maybe you’ll be able to make new memories making new ones? I agree with you on doing something sweet to surprise the kids! Any day to do that is just as good as an official holiday!

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